No Means No: The Responsibilities of the Man and the Woman

The main catch phrase of anti-rape campaigns almost everywhere is "No Means No!". It's effective and certainly should ring true. When a woman says "no" a man should immediately back off. However, many men accused of date rape have spoken of mixed signals etc. While there is no excuse for rape whatsoever there are a few things women need to change.

Many women feel the need to be convinced before having sex with someone. The idea is often that if they say yes the first time, they'll be seen as a slut. So they say no and then expect the guy to try harder until she says yes. This sends the wrong and confusing message. Women need to understand that it's ok to say yes and be comfortable doing so. If a woman says no, she needs to mean no.

Now, there is certainly a difference between convincing a woman and raping her and to any sober and thinking man or women it should be clear but alcohol is often put into the mix. While it is not ok for a sober person to take advantage of someone who is drunk or drug someone, what about the situations where both people are equally drunk or high etc.?

If two people have had sex before where "No" has meant "Try harder" and they are both equally intoxicated than the lines get a little blurry.

I still find it hard to believe that tone etc. aren't clear in most date rape cases and that the guy is not perfectly sure that the woman is saying no but I am saying that women need to take as much responsibility in making sure "No" does mean "no." It's not slutty or shameful to say yes, so if you want to have sex, just say that. If both sides say what they mean than the line will remain clear.

Newest Duggar arrival comes home for the hospital!

The newest Duggar child has finally come home after 4 months in the hospital. She was born 4 months premature and very sick.

Surprisingly enough I like the Duggars, despite my extreme disagreement with many of their beliefs. As large as their family is, they seem to support the children both emotionally and financially which is admirable with 19 children.

However, it is suspected that Michelle Duggar's age and the amount of children she has had is part of the reason Josie Brooklyn, the newest child, was born prematurely. While I respect their right to exercise their religious freedom, I question the choice to continue to have children when it endanger both the life of the mother and fetus. If they are so pro-life than it seems counter to that belief.

I'm awesome!

I donated Blood today!!!!!!!! Since I was 18 I have wanted to but always thought my anti-epileptic medication and trip to Ghana made me inelagible. I was wrong on both counts. The list of medications that prevent you from giving blood is actually rather short and it is only travel to certain African and European countries that prevent you from giving blood.

What does disgust me however is that any male homosexual encounters still prevent you from being able to give blood. While it is important the people who have had sexual contact with anyone infected with HIV or AIDS give blood, discrimination against gay men is not ok. This is especially true because gay men are not actually the most succeptable to AIDS but rather black women. The prohibition of gay men from giving blood is an outdated and offensive practice that goes all the way back to when AIDS was thought of as a gay disease. It's time for a change.

Why I love everything 16 and Pregnant related

So, generally I steer away from MTV but I just can't get enough of 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. I started watching 16 and Pregnant this summer when I got really sick and it was on demand and I've been hooked ever since.

In my mind, it is trashy enough to be entertaining reality television but I also feel like it has just enough value to justify watching.

MTV is generally devoid of any value whoever I think it is commendable to give a realistic look at teen pregnancy and parenting. Obviously it is a show primarily made for entertainment value but I also think it could possibly discourage teenagers from having babies.

I also find the presentation of the different girls, their families and the fathers commendable. I don't get the feeling that their specifically editing to make people look better or worse. That's sort of impossible to know for sure though and there's an obvious exception with Farrah's mother on Teen Mom. She was recently arrested for abusing Farrah although there was one incident where she hit Farrah on the show and they argue on fairly continuous basis.

I appreciate the way the fathers are presented in the show. They're not necessarily villianized and the struggles they face are show in a fairly diplomatic way.

Rob Zombie's Halloween: A review

So I finally saw the Rob Zombie version of Halloween. It wasn't great but it was a waste of time. I thought is was about the same quality as the original which I didn't particularly love. However, I feel the need to rewatch it as it has been a while and I saw it before I really got into horror movies.

I really liked the way they went into Michael Meyer's past a little bit although it dragged on a bit longer than it should of. I may have liked this so much because I have a particular fear of child killers.

I though the guy who played Michael's therapist played by Malcolm McDowell was definitely the stand out performance of the movie.

I did not, however, like the main girl played by Scout Taylor-Compton. Admittedly though, it is hard to live up to classic scream qqueen, Jamie Lee Curtis. Like most other horror movies ever made, they went for looks rather than acting ability.

Overall, the first half of the movie which addresses Michael's history was pretty good but the second half of the move was a little lacking. In the end, this was worth watching because I really love the horror genre but if you don't have a particular interest in scary movies than it is probably not worth watching.

Yay!

I generally try to refrain from post all about me but this is just too good of news. I got into an Americorp program!!!!! It's a program tutoring kids in Federal Way Washington. It's definitely one of my top choices so there's a big chance I'll be taking this job. Its a little scary, especially since it's all the way on the other side of the country but that's part of the excitement!

Forcing students to recite the pledge is the opposite of patriotic

In late January in Montgomery County MD a student at Roberto Clemente middle school was escorted from a classroom by the police for refusing to say the pledge. This went against the school's policy and was a result of the repressive views of the teacher. It is even in the Montgomery County Schools handbook that students cannot be forced to say the Pledge. This policy is even enforced by Maryland law. The URL for the Washington Post article is at the bottom of this entry.

Luckily for the teacher the student, her family and the ACLU are only requesting an apology to the student and the rest of the class as well as explanation to the class about why her action's were wrong. The school has said that they will support an apology but only if the student and her family give up her right to a lawyer. They sure are asking the student to give up a lot of her rights.

The issue of student rights has been a controversial one since the mid-twentieth century. While minors are not full persons under the law they are still entitled to the rights given to citizens under the Bill of Rights.

In my mind, the teach should be fired. Not only did she break school policy, she broke the law. Furthermore, she made a point to embarrass the student for her beliefs. Those are not the actions of a good teacher, those are the actions of a disrespectful person who should not have control over others, especially impressionable middle school students.

I am not disrespecting the Pledge of Allegiance. I proudly said it every single day of my school life. The problem is that there is nothing more unamerican than forcing your beliefs on someone else and controlling speech.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/23/AR2010022303889.html

Katherine Heigl to leave Grey's?

Perez Hilton is reporting the Katherine Heigl is leaving Grey's anatomy. I have to say, that I thought this had already happened. Not only has she only been in 3 episodes, as Perez mentioned, she barely has a story line. They are obviously writing her off.

My problem, though is that it's not a believable way off. Now, I'm not one to look for realism in television shows. That's not really the point in television but the way Alex broke up with Izzy was totally out of character. If this is her last season and she's barely going to be in it anyway than I don't understand why they didn't just kill her off instead of pulling this bullshit.

I know that many other fans have said that the show is going way down hill with the loss of a good chunk of the original characters such as Burke and George and the addition of many new characters. I've stood by the show though. I like the new characters, with the exception of the new heart surgeon who is sort of Blah. I can't stand by stupid story lines though so if Izzy's character is just going to contribute to those then I can't help but want her gone a little bit.

The new McCarthyism.

Generally speaking, I love watching political commentary. Seriously, I am a real dork about it. There is one thing that bothers me on both sides though. I hate it when people are said to be unpatriotic for their political ideas. Two people can love their country and still disagree.

I don't like a lot of conservative politicians out there. I think they're wrong and I think that their wishes and plans could hurt our country but I don't think they're unpatriotic. I don't think people who hate America spend so much time trying to fix it. That doesn't make sense.

Furthermore, attacking someone's patriotism is just a coward's way out of an argument. Attacking someone as unpatriotic just means that you don't have the capacity to attack or disprove their idea. It makes you a weak debater.

It reminds me a lot of McCarthyism. I see calling someone unpatriotic as basically the same thing as when people were singled out as communists with no actual evidence. The worst thing is that, like McCarthyism, it can be effective. The American people get caught up in those labels and people lose their jobs and reputations based not on their ideals and actions but on rumors and lies.

That's why I'm so bothered by many of the attacks made against Obama. People call him a socialist, a communist and a fascist (conflicting ideologies in many ways) but don't back up their point. Attack an idea all you want but there's no need to impeach his character. Admittedly, it very much happens on both sides. Obama is just the example that most bothers me.

Public Option! Public Option!

I have to admit that I was losing a little bit of faith in Barack Obama. I still loved him and thought he was a great choice for President but I was tiring of him doing nothing about Gay rights and backing down on a public option. He's still not doing so great on the gay rights issue but he seems to be stepping it up on a public option.

As a graduating college student who is unsure of what kind of health insurance situation I will be in after college, I really need a public option, as do many other college seniors. There seem to be a lot of people saying, "the public option is the best option, but it's not the only option." That may be true but I haven't really heard what the other options would be, except perhaps forcing insurance companies to drop the idea of refusing people insurance based on pre-existing conditions. In my opinion though, we NEED the public option. 

It seemed to me that the democrats went from toting the public option as a must-have to posing it as something that might happen if we really really need it. However, in the last few days the House, Senate and White House seem to be returning to the original goal. 

Now, most support a state back-out option. I'm not particularly pleased about that, but it's better than nothing and baby steps are sometimes necessary to reach a goal. 

Including a public option does increase the risk that the bill won't be passed. However, I will be proud of my party for taking a stand. We don't do it enough. The right may annoy me and take a stand on things totally opposite from what I believe, but they take a stand nonetheless. Maybe Bill Maher was right when he said Obama needs to get his W on. George Bush may have fucked up our country, but he did what he idiotically thought needed to be done. It's time for Obama to do what he rightly feels needs to be done.

Ending one of Bush's many fuckups

Bush's war on terror comes to an end

The end of the war on terror, at least Bush's definition of it, is important and profound. The power of the government should not be limitless, even if the new, and illegal if not immoral methods used by the Bush administration were effective.

Their effectiveness is not really important. Torture may be an effective tool in interrogation but that does not make it a good one. Torturing people makes us just as bad as the subjects we are interrogating or persecuting.

ALL people should have certain freedoms and right, an idea our country is founded on. It may seem like those we persecute don't deserve them but we still can't take them away. Such things may make our country safer but they also make is less of a country worth defending.

If the ideals behind out country our destroyed, than what's the point of defending it.

Wish Me luck!

Wish me luck! Tomorrow I leave for Budapest for four months!

The Inauguration continued

To sum it up, the Inauguration was one of the best and most memorable experiences of my life. I can't believe I even considered not going.

My day started at 4:30 and we got to DC around 6:00 and got to the mall by 6:30. We were right in front of the Washington Monument which provided an awesome view. It wasn't too crowded there yet but by the time the ceremony started there was barely room to move.

At around 7:00, I was on Good Morning America! The first time you really could just see my head bouncing up and down but a second time the reporter guy almost tripped over me. It's pretty awesome.

I didn't really get ridiculously cold until 8 or so but by the time the ceremony was over I seriously thought I had frostbite on my toes. It really sucked.

I though the ceremony itself was amazing and Barack's speech was incredibly. There were certainly a few parts where I teared up.

After the ceremony was when it got crazy. The walk was really crowded for the first 20 minutes or so but it was flowing pretty well. Once we got to L'Enfant Avenue, where the buses were, it got really well. There was one part where it was so crowded and there was so much pushing that the group I was with got separated and I was really scared someone in the crowd was going to get trampled.

After about 2 hours we final sought refuge in the American Indian Museum. It was a really cool museum, although lacking in exhibits, and there were people everywhere just sitting around or sleeping on the floor.

We finally left the museum at like 4:30 and started towards the subway. On the way I bought a really cool Michelle Obama T-shirt. I'm pretty excited about it. Luckily enough, the subway was not that crowded and I finally got home around 6:30.

Pictures from the Inauguration

Well I was lucky enough to go to the Inauguration and these are some of the almost 200 pictures I took. Actual commentary to come.

Washington Monument as the light started to come.
Washington Monument early in the morning.There was trash everywhere.The subway in the morning.Our stuff on the ground. We sat on trash bags. We sought refuge in the Native American History Museum after the ceremony. It was like a positive refugee camp. I took a nap and had some chicken tenders.Me in front of the capital at the end of the day. I was ridiculously tired and cold but ecstatic.The guys on top of the wall were changing "Obama!" at the top of their lungs.
There were people under this bridge, on top of it and on the stairs leading up to it. I was blown away. It wasn't too scary because things were moving pretty easily, at least right there.Compared to most places we walked this was as if no people were surrounding us.People starting to leaveThis was just the side of the mall.The flags surrounding the Washington monument were really pretty. It was a great spot to be.Walking by the capitol at like 5PMThe crowd starting to get huge.
Ridiculously early in the morning.
There were a lot of birds. We were worried they were going to poop on our heads.

Barack Obama as seen on the jumbotron. The guy on the tower was ready to shoot anyone who tried to fuck shit up.

Really bad pictures of Daniel Radcliff and New York

Here are my New York Pictures!

This is Daniel Radcliff signing autographs


This is the crowd waiting across the street to see Daniel Radcliff

EQUUS!

So, I saw Equus and it was amazing. The play was awesome. Unfortunately Richard Griffiths couldn't perform but his understudy was great and most definitely the standout performance.

Daniel Radcliff was very good. He wasn't spectacular but he was very good. Part of the problem was that he is just too recognizable, although after a while I most definitely lost sight of Harry. Radcliff was especially notable in the more intense scenes where the crazy of the character had to be super evident but when he had to be a little less intense it wasn't as great.

Now...to the nakedness. I find Daniel Radcliff to be quite attractive, however, it was a little too much of the money shot for me. He was fully naked for almost 5 minutes and seemed to be facing directly at our seats. I felt a little uncomfortable after the first two minutes.

Overall, the show was amazing. I would recommend it to everyone but it's closing in February so you'd have to rush.

Afterwards I did not get a picture with him or an autograph because I got there late and only the people in the front got their stuff signed. But I did see him and get some very bad pictures of him.

I'll post my Radcliff pictures and other pictures from the trip up soon.

Africa isn't just a sad place with only suffering people who need to be saved

So I was listening to that "Feed the World" Christmas song which pretty much says that Africa needs our help because everything is going horrible there, and don't get me wrong people should be helping out more, but after going to Africa and taking classes about Africa, I resent the idea that Africa is just a big group of people in deplorable conditions that can't possible be happy.

As much as those kinds of feeling generally mean well, there is something inherently arrogant about it. The Western world seems to assume that people can't possible be happen in situations that aren't necessarily as nice as ares and what exactly defines a nice situation. I mean, it is hard to believe that starving people without access to nice medical care are in a perfect situation, that shouldn't be all we see.

I went to Ghana, which is admittedly a fairly well off country where I may not have seen the worst of the worst situations, but there were certainly not as many luxuries as I'm used to, but there was also a happiness that I rarely experience here. I taught school in the small town of Hohoe and people seemed to be genuinely happy and appreciate what they have. I taught the kids questions and answers in English and one of them was "What is your favorite food?" and they would say things like rice and yams. Things that they ate everyday but there remained an appreciation for them. They loved what they had.

People also depended on and supported each other. It was the rainy season and whenever I would get stuck in town when it started to rain, without fail a shopkeeper would invite me into the back of their shop to sit with them and get out of the rain. Most would even invite me into the back room to sit with their family and make conversation.

One day there was a child sleeping on the floor so I asked the woman if it was her son and she said "No but I didn't want him to be cold," and I was just swept away by that kind of thinking.

Once again I'm not saying that there aren't situations that need to be fixed and worked on and there aren't many things we should do to help, I'm just saying that to assume the people in Africa can't be happy in the situations they are in is shortsighted and a little ignorant even if it comes from good intentions.

Just a thought

EQUUS!

I'm seeing Equus on Sunday. I'm sure all of you and by all of you I mean the three people who read this thing, are all jealous. I'll give a full report after I've seen it.

I'm not just seeing it because Daniel Radcliff (Harry Potter) will be naked because I think it will really be a good play. I can't lie though. It's a factor.

Want to hear something gross?

In what world is it OK for a college student to spread fecal matter around on a toilet seat? In fact, in what world is it OK for anyone over 2 to do that.

Seriously someone spread it out. Not just accidentally got some on the seat, but took the time to spread it out. WTF is that.

Oh college

After working at the ACLU this summer I find myself pondering more and more about civil liberties and why they're important. And I have realized just how many you can give up when you walk onto a college campus.

It's not anything criminal per say. College official can't strip you down in the middle of campus and send you to jail but they can search your room for no reason or punish you for things even if there isn't a whole lot of proof.

It can all be seen in the college handbook. Think of that handbook as a kind of constitution or bill of rights. When you agree to go live on a campus and attend a school you are basically agreeing to follow their rules. If a college decides that you broke them they can punish you, as long as it is in the rules you agreed to.

For instance, at my school, if you appear drunk or even if you appear sober but are walking with someone who appears drunk, you can be written up. They don't demand any proof. There's no breathalyzer. They just write you up and move on.

Now, admittedly, most of the people written up are drunk but that's not really the point. People deserve fair trial even if they're guilty.

On to the room thing. In the real world, police need a warrant and/or your consent to search your house. When you live on campus, however, you are technically on college property and therefore your room can be searched for any reason by campus safety or the police.

It just seems a little fucked up.